Lessons in Behaviour

In a supposedly global world, people traveling great distances, coming across new cultures, meeting different people and the like, one would think that it may make people more intelligent, tolerant.
The exception may be the rule as I saw a few days ago.
M. Rebert is one of France's top 50 Patissiers. His reputation makes people drive long distances in order to taste his delicacies. We get a more human picture, a more realistic picture from the kitchen window and while he may have a great reputation, his rival a few meters down the road is much more modest and as such, more appealing.
So it happened that one fine day, quietly minding our own business, we were interrupted by a symphony of car horns warming up for a rehearsal. Amused, we looked out the window and parked outside M Rebert's establishment was a large BMW with Wilderbeest license plate. To understand the psychology behind it, one needs to know that Wilderbeest will admire technology sitting on four bits of rubber more than anything else. And the bigger, the gutsier the better. At the top of the evolutionary pyramid are the BMW and Mercedes drivers. These cars are expensive, not because of their technological value or state of the art engineering. No, purchasers of these metal frames spend a small fortune on "the license to be a complete idiot". That is the polite version. A car in this category changes the owner and places him into a position of being above common sense.

The specimen outside was like a peacock displaying its feathers. An expensive car outside an over priced cake manufacturer. A wedding made in heaven except, it was in France. The locals could have passed by, at a squeeze, but in turn, their aspirations to break the sound barrier in their smaller, less prestigious and less well maintained wheels was being impaired by the foreigner north of the border. The protest was loud, until it reached the local representative of the common sense community driving a Smart. This car is best described as a roller skate large enough to carry two humans and the lady's handbag in the trunk. Monsieur rolled his wheels up to the BMW and spoke to the passenger. The reaction was not visible, because Monsieur Le Roller was obliged to unbuckle his foot strap and clamber out of the cabin, walk over round to the BMW and open the passenger door. We were holding our breath. World wars had started because of smaller arguments, how would history view the upcoming global conflict being started because of the misuse of driving surface in a small provincial town. Oh la la. Monsieur Le Roller was now explaining very loudly on how one was to behave sur les rues en France, and the Parking was at the designated spaces, it was even free of charge.

At this juncture, the Teutonic hero of the day, dashingly dressed in his Sunday best casual wear strides out, carrying a delicate little package of pastries which he probably paid a small fortune for, (illusion is everything) and proceeded to put the local citizen in his place. He could a) drive around, there was plenty of space, b)he shouldn't get so uptight about a minor little thing as blocking half the road and c)he as a BMW driver had of course acquired that special license to do as he pleased, even misbehaving in a foreign country.

Both got into their respective vehicles, but David was going to show Goliath who was boss. He blocked the BMW's passage and crawled up to the Zebra crossing about 20 meters on. It was here, that Vincent was having a chat with other locals and quietly observing the proceedings. By this time, our BMW driver seemed to have slumped forward in mixed emotions and seemed to permanently lean on his car horn, almost driving into the back of his French adversary. Vincent exchanged a few brief words with his ally Monsier le Roller and then in a snails pace crossed the road. Then the carnival procession moved on in musical dis-harmony.

We will ignore the small detail that the locals are just as notorious about parking, but that's ok. We all understand. But the foreigners - behave yourselves. Alors, we do not forget!